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I find the article too daunting the way it is now. The lead is too long and you need to summarize the historical context better. This is supposed to be about literature not the history of the Empire. Also, try to divide the articles into more sections so readers can scan the table of contents and get a sense of what they will read beforehand. If possible, rework the map to focus better on the region of India we are talking about.Īs a favor, you can look at two articles I have put up for peer review Mexico City Metropolitan Cathedral and 1985 Mexico City earthquake. Thelmadatter ( talk) 17:13, 11 October 2008 (UTC) Thanks, I will make the necessary changes. The minimlal historical info was given because in previous PR's, reviewers wanted some context.
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I have a map that only shows Chalukya territory, but a reviewer wanted the neighbouring kingdoms as well, because Kannada literature flourished over the entire Western Deccan. Dineshkannambadi ( talk) 18:42, 11 October 2008 (UTC) Dineshkannambadi ( talk) 17:42, 11 October 2008 (UTC) I believe problems still remain with the article's flow and word choice. Re:"But his efforts were in vain, as other prominent Chalukya vassals, the Hoysalas, the Kakatiyas and the Seunas destroyed the remnants of the Chalukya power, forcing them to fade into history." Fading into history sounds a bit poetic, and it's unclear how people could be forced to do it.As time permits, I'll post what I think is problematic for your review, if I can't come up with an timely reword/fix myself. There isn't the control over the span of history to force a group to fade or not fade into it. Re:"By writing their poems in native metres, in a language close to the spoken form of Kannada, the Vachana poets had made redundant literary elitism and the hitherto dominant nexus between temple, state and monastery from the realm of literature." It took me two or three tries to read this the way I think you want it read.Removed "forced them to fade into history". Re:"During this short and turbulent period lasting three decades (1153–1183), a new faith called Veerashaivism (or Lingayatism) developed as a revolt against the existing social order of the Hindu society." Are you committed to the "short" description? I'd like to drop it and just say "turbulent" because a lot of readers, particularly younger ones, probably don't consider three decades to a be a short period of time.Dineshkannambadi ( talk) 19:26, 14 October 2008 (UTC) The first part of the sentence is ok, up to the "Vachana poets" part, but then it gets hard to understand.